John Boyd and Storytelling

OK, I’ll admit, that’s just me distilling one of my favorite speeches into amateur copy. Here’s the whole thing:

“One day you will come to a fork in the road. And you’re going to have to make a decision about what direction you want to go.” He raised his hand and pointed. “If you go that way you can be somebody. You will have to make compromises and you will have to turn your back on your friends. But you will be a member of the club and you will get promoted and you will get good assignments.” Then Boyd raised the other hand and pointed another direction. “Or you can go that way and you can do something - something for your country and for your Air Force and for yourself. If you decide to do something, you may not get promoted and you may not get the good assignments and you certainly will not be a favorite of your superiors. But you won’t have to compromise yourself. You will be true to your friends and to yourself. And your work might make a difference.” He paused and stared. “To be somebody or to do something. In life there is often a roll call. That’s when you will have to make a decision. To be or to do? Which way will you go?”

–Robert Coram, Boyd: The Fighter Pilot Who Changed the Art of War

As all 50 of my readers may have noticed, I haven’t updated my blog for a little while. I’ve been busier lately, but that of course isn’t the real reason. Every time I sat down, I felt my ideas weren’t worth writing about, or I couldn’t articulate them properly. Everything that came out was shit, I’d pound on my delete key with frustration, and then laugh at the silliness of it.

Writer’s block. Nothing new. It took me awhile to decrypt, but I think I know the reason. Hell, even if I’m wrong, at least I’m writing about it, so it worked.

I’m not sure what each of you see in this blog, and I’d be happy to know, but let’s be consistent with my introduction and give the slick, Don LaFontaine version:

An evolution of values for one man. Under the lens of self-awareness and honesty, he believes he can radically improve and become who he wants.

Maybe that’s an interesting theme. But I’ve been hamstrung by it. I’ve been worried about being a writer instead of telling good stories.

If you were to ask my friends to describe me, “funny” would probably be in the top 5, nestled somewhere between “pale” and “asshole.” But my blog doesn’t reflect that at all. In real life, I’m sure as shit not serious or meditative all the time. I don’t want this site to be a “niche topic in the blogosphere,” or a facet of my character. I want it to be the whole thing–good, bad, transparent.

That means you’ll be seeing a lot of different material. A lot of the same too, because that’s a big part of what I’m going through also. The point is that you’ll be seeing it all.